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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22991347">Fragments of a Memory</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/REYDELCASTILL0/pseuds/REYDELCASTILL0'>REYDELCASTILL0</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Epsilon-Fragments [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Red vs. Blue</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Mentioned AI Program Epsilon | Leonard Church, Mentioned Agent Carolina (Red vs. Blue), Mentioned Agent Washington (Red vs. Blue), Mentioned Michael J. Caboose, he dies but it's more of a mention, is it? how do i tag this someone let me know plz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 11:01:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,101</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22991347</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/REYDELCASTILL0/pseuds/REYDELCASTILL0</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Epsilon had to fragment so Tucker could use the power suit- so everyone can win, but that leaves the Reds and Blues broken hearted. Tucker mourns heavily, not interacting much with people and letting his sadness fester in the presence of the Epsilon-Fragments. Tucker just misses Church.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>AI Fragments &amp; Lavernius Tucker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Epsilon-Fragments [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1654642</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Fragments of a Memory</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I made this really late in the night man and I had to convince myself it was worth posting</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hey- um… All I just want you guys to know that, out of everyone I’ve ever met, I hate you all the least,” was the last thing Church said. No one had thought it would be the last thing he ever said and Tucker didn’t realize that he would say the last things to him.</p><p>“See you on the other side, Church,” didn’t have such a heartbreaking meaning until after the battle. He honestly did expect to talk to Church after the fight. They would have defeated Hargove’s men and they would have done it together.</p><p>But Church didn’t make it to the end— and really didn’t even make it to the start of the battle, the more he thinks about it. He didn’t realize, not until he made it to the other side.</p><p>The presence he felt in his suit was Church— it definitely was Epsilon—, but it also wasn’t. During the whole fight, it was obvious Church was there one way or another. Tucker’s suit definitely had an AI in it helping him, but it wasn’t until Delta appeared to play back Church’s message did he suddenly realise it wasn’t him. These fragments weren’t Epsilon, they were Epsilon-fragments. Yes, Tucker is aware they are Church, but at the same time… They aren’t.</p><p>These fragments are not the friend Tucker had. These fragments aren’t Church, they’re themself and it hurt Tucker to know that.</p><p>But he just feels guilty. If he refused to put on the suit, would Church still be here? Could they have won without Church’s death?</p><p>Out of grief, Tucker let the fragments stay in the suit, and he wore it for some time after the fight (he only ever took it off to shower). He intends to go back to his suit, but then… Then “Church” won’t be there anymore. He asks Delta to replay the recording over and over again. He’ll lay in bed and just listen. He feels sad, and he ignores everyone when they ask him to get out of the suit.</p><p>He just wants to feel like Church is there… And he’s not the only one. Everyone wants to feel like Church is there. No one’s happy about his absence— not even the Reds. Tucker thinks Caboose is taking a hit much harder than he is, though. Maybe Carolina, but Caboose hasn’t even realized Church is actually gone this time. <em>He isn’t coming back</em>, he reminds himself constantly, but he doesn’t tell Caboose.</p><p>Caboose would be so broken by it. No one’s told Caboose that Church is <em>gone</em> gone. He’ll go and look for Church, he even wants to build a body for Church, but Church won’t- <em>can’t</em> use it. Maybe the Epsilon-fragments can. Maybe they’d appreciate doing something besides listening to Church’s goodbye on repeat.</p><p>Tucker didn’t bother talking to them for a while. They were so quiet during the fight, he knows that now. Not a single one talked to him, and he doesn’t know if that’s worse. Would he have preferred them to let him know they were there? He thought Church was too busy to talk when he would talk to him during the fight, but the fragments just weren’t talking to him. </p><p>They only started being so loud after the fight— after Delta played the recording. And he hates it. Because none of them are Church, they’re them. Theta tries to talk to Tucker, Delta, too, but none of them really know much about Tucker— not outside of Church, that is.</p><p>Gamma’s tried to make knock knock jokes, because really, Tucker is getting annoying asking to listen to the recording. Omega is really getting mad listening to it on repeat. Sigma wants to do something beside being in bed and seeing such a limited view of the world (Tucker does want to do more than lay around and mourn, naturally Sigma feels the need to encourage him to do so). Iota tries to ease Tucker’s emotional pain, but he ignores them all.</p><p>They’re so loud, but they’re all he has left of Church. </p><p>Everyone worries about Tucker. Even the fragments worry— Tucker only knows that because he can feel Eta’s worry. Eta fears that Tucker will seclude himself— and they try more frequently to start conversations with him. At some point he does talk back, though. Theta’s the one he starts talking to first and eventually starts talking to the other ones, too.</p><p>Tucker sees Theta, the AI that looks so much like a kid and can’t help but think of Junior— he wonders what his son looks like. His son was so massive not so long ago, how massive is he now? Are his guards treating him, right?—. He misses Junior. He misses Church… He misses people. So he lets Sigma convince him to go talk to other people for the first time in who knows how long (Tucker decided to not keep track of the days, weeks?, that passed). He didn’t really want to listen to Sigma, given what happened to the Meta, but Sigma wasn’t telling Tucker to get the other AIs— they were all accounted for, as Epsilon-fragments— so he figured it wouldn’t hurt to listen to this.</p><p>When he does go to talk with everyone, they’re all relieved. Caboose goes to hug him first. Something about Tucker not leaving without a goodbye and now Caboose’ll hug him. Tucker did hug back, oddly, and really didn’t mind the nearly bone-crushing hug. Washington patted his back and the Reds all “welcomed him back.”</p><p>He hadn’t left, he doesn’t even plan on it, but he doesn’t have Church anymore. He and Church have been together since the start of his time at Blood Gulch. But now Church isn’t there. He has the Epsilon-fragments, but he doesn’t even really want them around anymore. They’re too loud. They’re too different from Church. He’ll give them up and they’ll do who knows what. Maybe they’ll like the body Caboose is made (Tucker didn’t even realize Caboose finished making it until he saw it standing idle, waiting for an AI). </p><p>He can’t guarantee they’ll behave. But he’s so lonely, and the voices in his suit are so loud. He doesn’t want them anymore. They’ll just feed into his mournful state. He can’t move on till he lets them go, but he doesn’t want to move on, not yet. And maybe he won’t. Maybe he won’t, not for a while. But if he doesn’t start feeling better, no one else will.</p><p>He didn’t want to lose his friend for good this time, but life’s a bitch like that ain’t it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is pretty much my first fanfic ever and also the first time I've posted to ao3. I also don't know how I should've tagged this fic so if it needs tags (or doesn't) let me know, please.<br/>Thanks for reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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